Perambulation Hints

Basic Perambulation - suitable for all

    Unless you are sufficiently rich to be able to afford a chuffeur to take you where you want to go, perambulation is an unavoidable part of any holiday. With a few basic perambulation techniques, one can improve one's holiday enjoyment immeasurably. Equally, most of the techniques used are applicable to everyday life, like walking to work, or around the supermarket.
    Generally, once people have mastered walking at the age of one, little further thought goes into refining those basic skills for the rest of their lives. (unless you are a fashion model or a monty-python devotee, in which case you probably have infinitely more pressing personal problems)

    1. Big long, periodic steps are important. Periodicity comes easily to people who have two well matched legs. Stride length can be achieved either through torsional pelvic oscillations around the spinal axis, or through vertical oscillation created with  the calf muscles. Personally, I prefer the first method for everyday use, and then supplementing it using the second method (which is less efficient) for special occasions.

    2. Carry all your stuff on your back. This way one's spine is not unevenly loaded and one has one's offensive and defensive capabilities available in the event of an unsavoury incident. Avoid Suitcases - they are the devil's luggage.

Advanced Perambulation - only for the advanced perambulator - unsuitable for small children and animals.

    1. Barefoot perambulation. Avoid stepping on glass. Some glass, like the stuff you can see through, is harder to see. Unlike when wearing shoes, curl toes up while moving feet forward. This ensures that anything you walk into is hit with the ball of the foot so any small rodents or children you happen to walk into are in more pain than you are.

    2. Minimum foot lift. One should keep ones feet near the ground at all times. On good surfaces, with training, one can keep the foot to within one inch of the ground at all times. It takes years to master the technique for difficult uneven surfaces, like the one at Versailles.

Ingrate goes